25.05.2026
I tried a couple of times to update my site - but I couldn’t.
Exhaustion is consuming me, even after 3 days off work it got somehow worse. And I don't know what to do.
This year is intense, I did plenty of things and there are even more ahead. I’m also disappointed with my budget, money just keeps disappearing each time I receive my paycheck.
I know I should deal with adult things, I know I am spending money on good “adult” stuff. But I feel so tired. Just really want to enjoy the reward for my work, but I cannot really.
I hope these difficulties will pay off in the end somehow. I actually already scheduled my longer holidays, but I need to wait for them for some time. And after them there will be more choirs to do.
29.04.2026
Hello!
It is the middle of the working week and I'm looking forward to the weekend to begin.
Small updates about by routine:
-I stopped knitting for a couple of days, as I was slightly frustrated with it. I started knitting again and have a couple of ideas for my future projects.
- Continuing learning Japanese.
I have finished the 20th chapter of Genki 2 and have begun the 21st chapter. Frankly speaking at this point all the grammar points I learnt are chaotically mixed in my brain. I will leave it as it is for now. Hope that the reading practice at the end of the book will organize my knowledge.
-While I wasn’t knitting, I finally came back to drawing. I almost finished an artwork I was making during the previous summer. I also was working on a small project.I hope to be consistent and finish it before the end of May.
-I have a small idea for my web site. I noticed that I don’t have any “About me” page here. I was thinking of making it in an old school style. When I was a kid we had these note pads with various questions written in them, which we were exchanging between each other and filling them out. I will think about creating something similar.
In addition I was thinking about the way other people can communicate with me. I don’t have any email for such a purpose, I don’t intend to make any guest book/chat room for now. I will probably make a post on my neocities postboard, so if you want to say a couple of words, you can comment under that post. Will mention it in the greeting/description box on the top of this page, once it will be ready.
I wish you all a great week!
13.04.2026
I have rather mixed feelings today. Maybe it’s gloomy weather or just Monday?
Yesterday I was somewhat motivated to get back on track.
I’m overall doing fine, just not focused enough and constantly tired.
I have a lot of hobbies, as, I think, I mentioned before.
Not all of them are in my everyday routine, but still it can be kinda overwhelming from time to time.
So far my regular routine hobbies are:
- Japanese learning (doing it for a couple of years already, the progress is slow, but I’m still happy with it)
-Knitting
Hobbies I’m doing less right now:
-Drawing (not enough time)
- Dancing, yoga etc. as I’m commuting by bicycle and it takes all of my energy.
-Games(not enough time)
There are more hobbies, but they are currently not worth mentioning, as I do them rarely.
I started devoting less time to Japanese learning. I want to fix it.
Knitting is fine, I actually even overdoing it sometimes.
I also was eating badly lately and put on a couple of kilos, not the end of the world, I’m still at my healthy weight. I want to go back to eating better.
And the last thing - a better rest? I don’t want to say that I need to learn “How to rest more productively/effieciently” since these two last words are sometimes the core issue with resting fully.
I’m writing it and feeling soo tired, maybe I should have a small vacation…
06.04.2026
Hello!
I would like to begin this day with updating my website.
I'm struggling with a lack of time a lot. There are so many things I want to do, but there is simply not enough time.
I was thinking of making a daily schedule, but it might make my routine too robotic.
Also the time passes too fast - it scares me. Maybe I should be more mindful, while doing things?
I feel lost.
12.03.2026
Organizing my thoughts about the Internet space.
Was thinking today about my relationship with the Internet and got curious how has it started and which direction am I going so far.
How did it start.
I think at some point I got overwhelmed with algorithms and scrolling addiction. My first step was to decrease my time spent on instagram. At the same time I started looking for “How to experience the old Internet again?” information.
I liked being away from IG, and spending some time on Tumblr, which remotely was reminding me of web surfing (reealy remotely).
I also started looking for some forums that are still active.
Algorithms caught the fact that I was curious about this topic and I got offered a lot of videos where people were ranting about the modern internet and sometimes suggesting solutions.
With time my feed became flooded with such videos where people were saying the same things again and again, and I kinda realised that it was also a part of the problem I was dealing with. However, at the beginning of this video frenzy, I learnt about neocities. I got fascinated with the idea of shaping my own corner of the Internet, not fully coming back to the old Internet, or going offline. When I decided to create my site, I finally realized how bad I was tricked in the past. It felt like I was in a trance all the time going down the spiral of mindlessly consuming algorithm driven media. But I finally tasted freedom. It felt like I was turning away from the path I didn’t choose.
I still revisit some social media, I still might scroll a bit from time to time. But now I do it much less, because I’m aware that it is not good for me.
There are still a lot of things to be done to achieve the best “corner of the Internet” as possible for me.
The problem of influence.
I think we all are influenced by something/someone. But it is really important to ask yourself questions like: “Do I really want/need it?” “What will make me happier?” and “What exactly am I doing/trying to achieve?”
I realized it when I noticed that I suddenly wanted an Ipod and a cute Japanese flipphone. After I watched a couple of reels mentioning those, I got spammed with even more videos agitating to use/buy these devices.
For a second I thought that it was such a nice idea, as it was related to the topic I was already interested in and I also always liked cute things. Then I thought - “Do I want it, or does the algorithm want me to buy it?”, “Do I really need it?”
It is ok to buy something like this if you really want it and need it, but in my case I had been sold the idea that it was something I needed.
Most Ipods are second-hand and kinda expensive. Flip-phones (on android) have less security and limited apps you can install due to their old android version.
So, it doesn't look like the best choice for me.
Also a couple of words about being offline. I’m not going that direction, same with decentralizing my phone.
I want to explain why it won’t work for me (so far).
Why going offline and phone decentralising won’t work for me.
First of all - I kinda like the Internet as an idea, just the current state of it is not the best. I like looking for new information, playing games and sharing stuff. I have plenty of hobbies that are “offline” but I often like to research those hobbies online, for example - looking for new knitting patterns.
Phone decentralization.
I think it will be just too inconvenient in my case and I would like to try to adjust my phone to bring me more benefit then harm.
What I’m planning to do?
Sometimes, I feel like I caught the train that was quickly passing by, just in time. Now I just need to explore and act. I don't have enough time sometimes, so the process is slow, but I’m trying my best.
- I want to explore the indie web further and develop my personal website.
- I want to make a digital navigator that I'll use for bookmarking other people’s personal sites, forums and sites that are related to the things I like, some entertaining stuff and so on. I might also make links to my favorite youtubers so i won’t be destracted by the feed.
-Digital decluttering - I almost finished it, just need to keep an eye on my digital media.
-Digital hygiene. Try to consume less devastating and brain-rot content.
So, in the end, I think it is really important to follow something that you want to do and to be honest with yourself. It is fine to listen to other people’s ideas and opinions, but it should not influence your decisions 100%. Listen to your heart and make thighs that make you feel happy.
31.01.2026
My small internet.
So a year ago or so I decided I needed to change something about the media environment I'm using.
I noticed addiction-like behavior and decreased satisfaction from using the web.
There also was a big shift in the posting culture. It wasn't fun anymore.
To me, the internet was always about sharing in the first place. Now it is mostly about consumption and it makes me sad.
I just want to have fun.
I wanted to quit the social media I was using.
Step by step, I came here, to the indie web.
I feel like I'm on the right path.
It was really interesting to experience the ability to make a choice once again.
Of course we are constantly being influenced by somebody/something.
But still, I made a choice, also based on my feelings.
I wanted something different. I wanted to feel a little more freedom. I didn't want algorithms constantly feeding me with random short form content it thinks I like.
Once I made this choice, I felt so much better - refreshed and light.
I still use some social media such as Tumblr and YT.
I like Tumblr, as there are a lot of great images and gifs. There is an option to turn off the endless scroll and it is just amazing.
However Tumblr has many disadvantages like any other social media. I'm not quitting Tumblr yet, thanks to it I have started collecting images and gifs again. It is the only social media, I think, that brings me joy sometimes.
With YT it's more complicated.
Speaking about coming back to analog media. I'm not sure if it will work for me. I would like to use my phone slightly less maybe. Will see.
Another thing I experienced - I'm enjoying certain things more because I don't feel an urge to post them.
Of course I would like to share my interests, but I don't feel I should constantly do it.
In conclusion, I want to say that I believe we can change and adjust at least the media environment we are using. For it to be interesting and fun again. For it to be more alive and positive. It might be difficult, but it is worth trying.
08.10.2025
Hi!
So, this is my first post here.
I haven't realised how difficult would it be to create a personal site.
It is work in progress, I really would like to add more interesting things to this page.
Cheers!
